I don't rightly know what I'm doing anymore. My life, such that it is, is a complete and total mess. I've no drive. No creativity. I continue to plod on, though, hoping beyond hope that something will happen to change my ...
I don't know. I keep feeling as if there is something that will help. But it keeps eluding me.
My husband is an issue with me these days. I love him, but I want him gone. I'm tired of there always being a presence in my home. I never have a moment that is purely my own. He's always here. Awake and sleeping. *sigh* Gods, I want to strangle him. I want to kill myself sometimes. I want to ship him to his mother's, send the cats to mine, take my next paycheck and get as far as I can from here. I want to never leave my house. I want all my friends to drop off of the face of the planet.
Instead, I will do what I always do. I will grin and bear it. I will smile like nothing is wrong. I will laugh and joke and carry on like I haven't a care in the world. And I might even believe it, for a little while.