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Fri, Mar. 2nd, 2007, 09:19 pm
And the caged bird sings so sweetly

I don't rightly know what I'm doing anymore.  My life, such that it is, is a complete and total mess.  I've no drive.  No creativity.  I continue to plod on, though, hoping beyond hope that something will happen to change my ...

I don't know.  I keep feeling as if there is something that will help.  But it keeps eluding me. 

My husband is an issue with me these days.  I love him, but I want him gone.  I'm tired of there always being a presence in my home.  I never have a moment that is purely my own.  He's always here.  Awake and sleeping.  *sigh*  Gods, I want to strangle him.  I want to kill myself sometimes.  I want to ship him to his mother's, send the cats to mine, take my next paycheck and get as far as I can from here.  I want to never leave my house.  I want all my friends to drop off of the face of the planet. 

Instead, I will do what I always do.  I will grin and bear it.  I will smile like nothing is wrong.  I will laugh and joke and carry on like I haven't a care in the world.  And I might even believe it, for a little while.