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Thu, Jun. 28th, 2007, 05:14 am
What am I doing here in this handbasket?

I've been doing a lot of working here lately on my own spirituality.  I've come to realise I have a long way to go.  

I've been attending a pagan church for the better part of a year now, upon the insistence of my best friend.  I'm really enjoying it and getting a lot out of it.  I never realised how much I really missed being a part of a larger group.  I've made several really good friends out of this.  I am hoping to make more, as I've been invited to join the outter court of the coven of one of our church elders.  Wicca has sort of been a sore spot with me over the years, burnt as I was by my former HPss.  But I (hope) think this will be different.  I'm not doing it because it's my only option, this time.  I'm going in fully armed and armored.  

I've also been working on completing several tasks for my warrior rite, which was supposed to be held over Lugh this year.  The Gods must be laughing (okay, Eris is, really...) because it's not in the cards for me, yet.  My own meditations have led me to this conclusion.  Part of it is because my mundane life is encroaching on my spiritual territory.  I hate it when this happens, but I must do what I must.  Part is because I have to figure out who is guiding me towards this road.  It's not Eris, my matron.  And the last part is that there are physical things that I must acquire before I can even begin to plan when (this is slightly because of the mundanities of life... can't get stuff I don't have money for.)  

It's the mundane that's giving me the most problems.  I've been working towards reliving my spirituality so hard.  I've even taken up my annual vegitarian period (Litha to Mabon) out of respect for the growing season.  I would fast, actually, but, as my doctor has so kindly pointed out, someone who sufferes from serious bouts of both low blood sugar and high blood sugar, that might not be a good idea.  

In any case, I will have to remember to keep coming back here and posting my revelations, that I might keep track of it all better than trying to keep a paper journal.  I always lose those, even if I put them in the same spot all the time.  *sigh*